31 July 2008

The Complainer

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. (Philippians 4:14-15)

I remember several years ago, in my wonderful Smart Start days, going through a little book (I think it was called something like "ABCs of the Bible"??), and getting to this verse as the verse of the day. I sat there and so easily taught my beautiful little 5 year-olds how we shouldn't complain when we have to make our beds, clean our rooms, or help mom with dinner. Such a simple verse. Such an easy thing.

As I have over the years come across this verse again, I realize that in all honesty, I resent it. Sometimes I just want to complain. I deserve it. Yesterday when my co-worker was acting like a girl and getting upset that I forget to tell him I had already started the file our boss asked us to work on, I grumbled under my breath at his bad attitude, my little desk, and how I just needed 20 minutes alone, with no interruptions, no conversation, just me time. An hour later, I was being the very complainer that had so irritated me.

The "real world" has taught me so many lessons that I never even realized. I am selfish. I can be moody (in moments where PMS isn't the excuse, or explanation as I like to see it). I complain a lot.

God is good. He is gracious and merciful. Slow to anger and abounding in love. His grace is lavishly poured out on me not only in the fact that He loves me despite my junk, my me-oriented mentality, my cranky days, my idols I run after instead of Him, but also in the fact that He is so crazy-jealous over having me and all of me, that He can't allow me to persist in His ways. So certainly come days I will still resent his convictions and commands that are contrary to the flesh that fights the Spirit. But I have the Spirit. Eternally, mercifully, lovingly...and He'll continue to prune to make the dying branch thrive and grow.

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