The Difficult Reminder

Grant, O Lord my God, that I may never fall away in success or failure; that I may not be prideful in prosperity nor dejected in adversity. Let me rejoice only in what unites us and sorrow in what separates us. May I strive to please no one or fear to displease anyone except Yourself. May I always seek the things that are eternal and never those that are only temporal. May I shun any joy that is without You. O Lord, may I delight in any work I do for You and tire of any rest that is apart from You. My God, let me direct my heart towards you, and in my failings, always repent with a purpose of amendment.
-St. Thomas Aquinas

I think this has, most recently, become my favorite prayer. A difficult one to pray at times, especially when the things I cling to in this world come crashing down, but nonetheless a reminder I need to hear. This prayer covers wherever life may find you: success or failure, prosperity or adversity.

The loss of things in this life convicts me of the idols that I have and how blinded I am to them. Family, friendships, relationships, material possessions, all quickly grab hold of my heart. I know this to be true through the pain that they cause when the Lord alters them in my life. But our God "is a holy God. He is a jealous God" (Joshua 24:19).

My sweet friend Meg gave me some of the most encouraging words last night. She reminded me of the idea that it is "God's kindness that leads us to repentance" (Romans 2:4). But an even greater message comes forth from that idea. We know that God, in his love and mercy, breaks us in order to mold and shape us and make us more like His Son. But do we realize the honor and the blessing it is that He would do so? A line I have often heard Matt Chandler say is that the wrath of God is not found in the troubles in this world, but rather that the wrath of God is most clearly seen when He does absolutely nothing. What a true statement. But on the reverse side, I think God's grace and mercy are most clearly shown when he intervenes in the life of a wretched and sinful girl, and is willing to bring struggle for a time in order to bring her more closely to her perfected self. Not that we will ever attain that this side of Heaven, but He is not willing to wait that long to begin. He wants our whole hearts now. For us to delight in the eternal, find joy only in Him, delight in the opportunity to continue working for His kingdom, and most importantly always direct our hearts towards him. He loves us so much that He wants all of us, a bridegroom that deeply wants his bride. May our hearts for Him beat as His does for us.

Psalm 63:1-3
"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you."