An Ode to Lil' Kim

Ok, so I must follow the other wonderful people that love this girl so much and give a lil' love to my lil' kim. Welcome to the world of 23, dear friend, where people no longer find out your age and continue to exclaim "You're so young!" or perhaps think of you as still some undergrad, immature college student. You are beginning to move into the age of maturity and wisdom, the prime of your life, which is really just a nice way of saying you're getting old. Don't worry though...because even though they say Asians age well, we don't want you to wrinkle prematurely...

I wish I could come up with a poem half as good as you, but instead you will have to be content with the inarticulate and non-poetic words of the Italian Stallion. Texas is not the same without you. Austin is not the same without you. Sno beach has a little less flavor with you gone. So hurry up with all that law schoolin, and come back down to the Texas Bar...and barbeque!

Miss you terribly. Happy 23rd Jamie, where the "i" is before the "m". Jamie, not Jaime.

What a Culture

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/08/26/o.divorce.dreams/index.html?imw=Y&iref=mpstoryemail

Probably one of the most disturbing opinion articles I have ever read, and I guess it should come as no surprise that it came from Oprah (or should it? She is a spiritual woman, after all...)

For those of you who don't have the time, energy, or interest to read the whole thing, here is a general recap:

"I contemplate divorce every day. It tugs on my sleeve each morning when my husband, Will, greets me in his chipper, smug morning-person voice, because after 16 years of waking up together, he still hasn't quite pieced out that I'm not viable before 10 a.m."

"Mind you, when I say Mid-Wife Crisis, I mean the middle-of-married-life kind, not the kind where you go to Yale to learn how to legally brandish a birthing stool. As one girlfriend remarked, it's the age of rage -- a period of high irritation that lasts roughly one to two decades. As a colleague e-mailed me, it's the simmering underbelly of resentment, the 600-pound mosquito in the room. At a juncture where we thought we should have unearthed some modicum of certainty, we are turning into the Clash. If I go will there be trouble? If I stay will it be double? Should I stay or should I go?"

one of my favorites...
"We were groomed to think bigger and better -- achievement was our birthright -- so it's small surprise that our marriages are more freighted. Marriage and its cruel cohort, fidelity, are a lot to expect from anyone, much less from swift-flying us. Would we agree to wear the same eyeshadow or eat in the same restaurant every day for a lifetime? Nay, cry the villagers, the echo answers nay. We believe in our superhood. We count on it."

"Because it isn't a shame. Divorce is no longer the shame that spits stain upon womanly merit. Conventional wisdom decrees that marriage takes work, but it doesn't take work, it is work. It's a job -- intermittently fulfilling and annoying, with not enough vacation days. Divorce is a job too (with even fewer vacation days). It's a matter of weighing your options.
A friend once compared the prospect of leaving her husband to leaving her child's private school: The school wasn't entirely to her liking, but her daughter was happy there; it wasn't what she'd expected, but applying to other schools involved a lot of costly, complicated paperwork and the nagging uncertainty of whether another school would accept her and/or really be that much better."

and finally...
"Because in the end, that's basically what it's all about: getting your order right. Our day comes down to choices -- and it's finally dawning on the long-term wives of the world that divorce may be the last-standing woman's right to choose. We can admit that our marriages aren't lambent, lyrical ice-dancing routines and still decide to push on together to the final flying sit spin. We also realize that divorce is an alternative that's fully within reach, be it now or later or never. The more readily we acknowledge the solid utility of marriage (as one friend's husband put it, "I'm essentially a checkbook and a sperm bank -- but I'm okay with that!"), the more ably we can splinter the box of marital fantasy that makes us feel stuck, trapped, obliged. One eloquent swing of the ax and happiness is thrust firmly back into our own hands."


The funny thing is, my first thought at the end of the article was "so what are you going to do the day your daughter starts dating? what would I do if you were my mom?" What a conversation that would be, telling her about your first crush. Odd thing to contemplate I know, but it just made me a little sad. The little girl (or, as I have found in my experience, the still young woman) fantasy of being swept off your feet and romantically in love until the end of life, albeit a fantasy, still says something about the hearts of women, and perhaps even the hearts of men. So though we may exist in this messed up, disappointing, often time frustrating world, this concept has still remained strong, regardless of how twisted and perverted it may become.

What this article say is "It's all about me. My time, my life, my pleasure." It's not about me...it's not about you. Hopefully we are not breeding a generation of like-minded individuals. As a child of divorce and brokenness, I still have a hope and a belief in companionship, and a much greater understanding than the woman with the pen on Life. I can't wait for the day when His voice is heard above all others. Until then, we press on...

Put on your big girl shoes and get it done!

Ken Downing has to be one of my new favorite people. Ken Downing is Neiman Marcus' Senior Vice President and Fashion Directore, and he is fa-bu-lous!

Every season he gives a little recap about what is going on across the world on the runways, tells us what is "haute", and more importantly what that NM girl will love!

BERRY! SATIN! LACE! FLORALS! SLEEK AND SEXY DRESSES! DOUBLE CUFFS! (pay attention ladies...I am trying to put you ahead of the curve!)

So the title of my post comes from my favorite line of the whole presentation. He was getting into the shoes we are seeing on the runway (watch out! the booties are back with a new flare....peep toe!) and after showing a shoe similar to the one by Dior shown above (I think the actual one was a Bottega Veneta) He exclaimed "this shoe just screams put on your big girl shoes and get it done!" (Imagine what his voice is like...not mine)

Sometimes my job is tough...but at moments like that, I absolutely love my job.

Finding the Father in His Creation

This week in the lovely world of Neiman Marcus, we have our annual get-together called "Conclave". It is a fun-filled week, among other things, filled with training, teaching, goal setting, and above all, free merchandise. This afternoon we had several girls from HR present (which just as an aside, I have decided that I was made for HR, which if you are someone who knows me well, you will know that I am only slightly impulsive, so this decision could suddenly and passionately change at any moment, but for now, this is it!) on different ideas and topics as they pertain to leadership.

One of the little anecdotes they used, and I believe is probably widely used in teachings on motivation, is that of geese. I believe that the Lord is in all things, and more specifically He is in His Creation, and desires to reveal Himself and how He sees things through it. So in this very secularly focused lesson on leadership, I felt as though I learned a little lesson from the Lord, particularly in reference to the idea of living in community. Some may think I am stretching a little, and perhaps I am, but I thank the Him for taking a so humble a creature as a goose to remind me of Himself today. Perhaps you can be encouraged as well....

Sense of a Goose

When you see geese flying along in "V" formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way:

As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in "V" formation, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone, and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.

If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those people who are headed the same way we are.

When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point.

It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs, whether with people or with geese flying south.

Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

What messages do we give when we honk from behind?

Finally ... and this is important ... when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshot, and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies, and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group.

If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other like that.

--Author Unknown

The Complainer

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. (Philippians 4:14-15)

I remember several years ago, in my wonderful Smart Start days, going through a little book (I think it was called something like "ABCs of the Bible"??), and getting to this verse as the verse of the day. I sat there and so easily taught my beautiful little 5 year-olds how we shouldn't complain when we have to make our beds, clean our rooms, or help mom with dinner. Such a simple verse. Such an easy thing.

As I have over the years come across this verse again, I realize that in all honesty, I resent it. Sometimes I just want to complain. I deserve it. Yesterday when my co-worker was acting like a girl and getting upset that I forget to tell him I had already started the file our boss asked us to work on, I grumbled under my breath at his bad attitude, my little desk, and how I just needed 20 minutes alone, with no interruptions, no conversation, just me time. An hour later, I was being the very complainer that had so irritated me.

The "real world" has taught me so many lessons that I never even realized. I am selfish. I can be moody (in moments where PMS isn't the excuse, or explanation as I like to see it). I complain a lot.

God is good. He is gracious and merciful. Slow to anger and abounding in love. His grace is lavishly poured out on me not only in the fact that He loves me despite my junk, my me-oriented mentality, my cranky days, my idols I run after instead of Him, but also in the fact that He is so crazy-jealous over having me and all of me, that He can't allow me to persist in His ways. So certainly come days I will still resent his convictions and commands that are contrary to the flesh that fights the Spirit. But I have the Spirit. Eternally, mercifully, lovingly...and He'll continue to prune to make the dying branch thrive and grow.

Words of Wisdom

"My Utmost for His Highest"
Oswald Chambers

June 20

Have you come to "when" yet?

The plaintive, self-centred, morbid kind of prayer, a dead-set that I want to be right, is never found in the New Testament. The fact that I am trying to be right with God is a sign that I am rebelling against the Atonement. "Lord, I will purify my heart if You will answer my prayer; I will walk rightly if You will help me." I cannot make myself right with God, I cannot make my life perfect; I can only be right with God if I accept the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ as an absolute gift. Am I humble enough to accept it? I have to resign every kind of claim and cease from every effort, and leave myself entirely alone in His hands, and then begin to pour out in the priestly work of intercession. There is much prayer that arises from real disbelief in the Atonement. Jesus is not beginning to save us, He has saved us, the thing is done, and it is an insult to ask Him to do it.

If you are not getting the hundredfold more, not getting insight into God's word, then start praying for your friends, enter into the ministry of the interior. "The Lord turned the captivity of Job when he prayed for his friends." The real business of your life as a saved soul is intercessory prayer. Wherever God puts you in circumstances, pray immediately, pray that His Atonement may be realized in other lives as it has been in yours. Pray for your friends now; pray for those with whom you come in contact now.

Darfur

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/06/19/darfur.rape/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

ZAM ZAM DISPLACEMENT CAMP, Sudan (CNN) -- Sudan's Darfur crisis has exploded on many fronts -- violence, hunger, displacement and looting -- but United Nations peacekeepers say the biggest issue now affecting the region is the systematic rape of women and children.

UNAMID police officer Ajayi Funmi educates Darfur women about rape.

Thousands of women -- as young as four -- caught in the middle of the struggle between rebel forces and government-backed militias have become victims of rape, they say, with some aid groups claiming it is being used as a weapon of ethnic cleansing.

"That is one of the biggest issues in Darfur -- the rapes, and crimes against women and children," says Michael Fryer, UNAMID's police commissioner, the United Nations peacekeeping force deployed to try to tackle the violence.

Relief workers say they are powerless to stop the attacks and they say if they do speak out they fear the Sudanese government will tell them to leave the country. Humanitarian group Refugees International in a report last year said rape was "an integral part of the pattern of violence that the government of Sudan is inflicting upon the targeted ethnic groups in Darfur."
Some relief workers say almost 100 percent of women living in aid camps have been raped or become victims of gender-based violence, with many teenagers forced by militiamen to have sex multiple times while running regular errands such as collecting firewood. They say the situation has now become so bad, many women are now resigned to rape attacks as a way of life and men are unwilling to accompany them because they fear they will be killed if they try to defend them.
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But despite the extent of the abuse, the Sudanese government insists there is no problem, adding to the difficulties faced by the victims who are often ostracized by their communities or fall foul of a legal system seen as favoring their attackers.

"There is no rape in Darfur," says Mohammad Hassan Awad, a Humanitarian Aid Commissioner for West Darfur, who accuses foreign aid workers of persuading people in refugee camps to make false claims.

While few aid workers dispute the extent of the attacks against women, they say survivors are unwilling to come forward -- but those that do reveal shocking levels of abuse.

"She said they removed their scarves and used it to tie them up and were taking turns to rape them -- one is 13 years old the other one is 16 years," says Ajayi Funmi of the UNAMID police, who is trying to educate women told CNN after talking to two girls. Making matters worse, aid workers say scores of babies conceived through rape are being dumped by their mothers.

"Abandoned babies are reported but because of the stigma attached to it there is no detailed report because the women don't come forward," says Dr Naqib Safi of the U.N. children's body UNICEF.

As many as 20 babies a month are being dumped in one camp of 22,000 people.
With both U.N. officials calling for more female officers to better educate women against rape and women saying they won't feel safe until the under-equipped and undermanned United Nations force is strong enough to protect them, the situation shows little sign of improving.


Right now I am sitting in my Dallas, air-conditioned, floor-to-ceiling-windowed office, having just finished a wonderful lunch of Lean Cuisine, an apple, and Teddy Grahams, reading this article, and desperately struggling to comprehend the lives of these women. Like I told my friend Kayla as I g-chatted with her on my HP computer, it doesn't even seem real to me. My suburban-American mind struggles to understand the depths of it all. Wonder why...

I want to say thank you to all my friends traveling to the Sudan very soon. I'm sure there are plenty more than I am unaware are going, but Katie and Susan, you are true blessings. My suffering in comparison to the Sudanese people is like a paper cut on the finger. I am so encouraged by your hearts to give it all away and go love a people that have seen so much cruelty, so much pain, so much evil. Thank you for being a light in the darkness.

Let us not forget to pray for the nations (which is a challenge I need to hear most of all). Various humanitarian and missions organizations pop us from time to time to educate us on things going on worldwide and "rally the troops", but the fervor for the cause eventually dies as the press dies. The strongest army is the Lord's, and our most powerful weapon is prayer. We all look for the opportunity to be the one who is called to go, and I hope that many more friends will receive that calling. But thanks for the little articles to remind us where we should be first and foremost...on our knees.